


A Little Rain Never Hurt Anyone

by AstridMyrna



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Cuddling, Ear infection, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Hypothermia, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Rain, Sick Character, Some Cursing, Vomiting, Wet Clothing, bed sharing, showering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-10-08 03:06:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17378405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AstridMyrna/pseuds/AstridMyrna
Summary: Cassian's meeting with a contact goes smoothly, but it's the rainstorm after that leads him to the medbay.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TinCanTelephone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TinCanTelephone/gifts).



> I write this being sick myself (not the contagious kind, thankfully) and it's helping me with some writer's block.

The day had started smoothly enough: Jyn agreed to stay in the ship with Kay in the middle of the coniferous forest with minimal argument, Kay announced rather optimistic odds about how his meeting would go, and the weather was bright and brisk as he hiked up the trail to the town where he met his contact. Even his contact, a grumpy Rodian with a face like chipped turquoise seemed to be in an unusually advice-giving mood.

“The skies are overcast, so I’ll be heading home. You should too, unless you want to get caught in the rain,” the Contact said before slurping up the last of the grog in his tin cup.

Cassian allowed himself to smile. “A little rain never hurt anyone.”

But his contact was already up on his feet. “No, but a lot will sweep you away.”

His contact dropped a gold credit chip and stepped out of the pub without another word. Cassian picked up the credit, and left some of his credits for both their drinks, then left the pub as well. The Rodian was already long gone. A cutting gust of wind made him wish he wore a warmer jacket, but at least he wasn’t the only one on the street hunched against the wind, hurrying along to hide from the sudden storm that threatened overhead. He walked down a block before entering a jewelry shop so he could pretend to be looking at the cheaper bracelets. His thumb rubbed the credit in his hand until it slid open, revealing the miniscule datachip hidden inside. Inwardly he let out a sigh of relief.

“Looking for something special?” the seller, an older woman with streaks of blue among her silver hair.

Cassian ducked his head down as if he was shy. “Just browsing, but thank you.”

He planned on “browsing” a little longer, but then his eyes fell on a silver chain with delicate links that were braided into a strong rope. The cord on Jyn’s necklace had begun to fray, so if he got her this--

No, he couldn’t leave recordable evidence of being here. He turned around and left the store, three fat raindrops plunking on his head the moment he stepped out. He only made it three steps until he was hit by the sudden torrent of rain. It came down so hard and fast that it was like the sky had cracked open to dump every bit of cold liquid out, and it was  _ cold _ . Eadu was bad, but at least he had the proper rain gear on to keep the rain from sneaking under his clothes. His thin leather jacket didn’t have a  _ hood _ , and he cursed himself as he hunched down against the stinging bullets of rain.

Cassian clicked on his communicator. “Heading back, ETA 15 mi-- _ shit _ .”

His boot skidded over crushed rock hidden by underbrush, but when he tried to catch himself he twisted backwards and fell on his front in the mud. Air squeezed out of his lungs and for a head-pounding, dizzying minute he couldn’t speak.

“ _ Cassian? Cassian! What’s going on? _ ” Jyn demanded on the comm. “ _ I’m coming to get you. _ ”

“Don’t,” he grunted, finally able to breathe again. “Slipped ‘n’ fell, knocked the wind out of me.”

“ _ Are you hurt? _ ”

His shoulder, back, and hip throbbed in response. “I’m fine. Just get the ship ready for takeoff.”

There was a long pause as Cassian double checked to make sure he didn’t lose the data chip (it was still in his pocket). “ _ All right. _ ”

Cassian made sure the comm was off as he pushed himself back up on his feet, biting back a groan. Carefully, he started down the hill again, fingers grazing each tree trunk in case he slipped again. Jyn would be upset with him, he could get back to the ship on his own. Besides, he didn’t want her to get soaked and cold for nothing.

However,  even with the protection of the forest, the sharp winds shook the trees and stole his warm. Shivering now, he buried his wet hands under the armpits of his wet, muddy jacket and tried to remember what it felt like to be warm again. His teeth chattered so badly that he ground them together so they’d stop rattling so loudly in his head. Shit, he needed to get back to the ship, needed to put on warm clothes--

When he saw the ground flatten into a meadow just a few feet away, he knew he was halfway home. He forced his stiff legs to jog. The cold air in his lungs began to warm, and he could just see the outline of the light transport blending in with the rock outcropping just ahead.

And then his feet plunged into mud. A thick, sticky mud that clung to the soles of his boots so he would have to lift his foot high to pull free, but put it down carefully or risk slipping and falling again. What was a three minute jog was now a fifteen-minute trudge, because the forest floor was mud now. 

He wanted to scream, but he commed Jyn instead.

“C-Coming,” he managed to say without biting his tongue.

“ _ Cassian? I can barely hear you. _ ”

“C-Coming,” he repeated a little louder. 

A pause on her end, no doubt listening to his labored breathing as he squelched through the mud while his whole body trembled. Shivering was good, though, because it meant he was only experiencing mild hypothermia.

“ _ I can see you and can-- _ ”

“Noschtay,” he barked back.

“ _ What? _ ”

He sighed through his nose. “N-N-Nno. St-st.”

The wind slashed through the trees again and he stopped. He had to stop or else he would fall into the mud, which felt warmer now that it oozed over the tops of his boots. The ship was there,  _ right there _ . Just twenty steps, maybe thirty. He stumbled forward the first three steps, then caught himself as he counted four, five, eight, six--it was too hard to count anymore. He just needed to get to the ship, which was now close enough that he could hear the engine purring under the rumble of the storm. 

Lightning bleached the sky when the ramp lowered for him, the thunder vibrating in his chest. A spike of adrenaline pushed him up the ramp and into the belly of the ship where Jyn stood, arms crossed like she was gearing up for a fight. 

“Take those off before you freeze to death,” she said.

He stared at her, trying to make sense of what just came out of her mouth, and then she unzipped his jacket as the ramp folded up behind him. His clumsy fingers dug into its inner pocket and pulled out the datachip. It slipped between his fingers, but Jyn caught it with one hand and shoved it roughly in her pocket. He wanted to tell her to be careful with it, but the cold had wired his jaw shut.

“We could have moved the ship closer, you know,” she said as she helped him shuck off his jacket and let it fall at his ankles with a wet  _ smack _ . 

_ And it would have gotten stuck in the mud _ , he thought, but he could only grunt as she peeled his thin shirt up past his locked shoulders. 

“No we couldn’t, unless we wanted to get stuck in the mud,” Kay chimed in as he joined them, a medkit in his hand. “Have you checked his temperature, Jyn?”

“No,” she said, pushing his numb fingers away from his belt buckle.

“Well, judging from his inability to speak and his pale extremities, I predict that he’s--ah!” he said as he waved the scanner over Cassian’s forehead. “I was correct. His body temp is below 35 degrees and dropping. It would be more faster if we cut off the rest of his clothing.”

Cassian thought that the scanner must be wrong, because he wasn’t shivering anymore. He wasn’t even cold anymore. And then the last scrap of his logic informed him that he was dying again.

* * *

He woke up in the single cabin of their tiny transport, naked in bed and under a mountain of blankets and towels with Jyn pressing every inch of her burning skin against his. His hands were sandwiched between her arms and chest while she pressed a dry, warm compress against his back.

“I passed out,” he said, meaning to form it into a question but his thick, dessicated tongue wouldn’t let him.

“Once we got you under the blankets,” she whispered, then reached behind her and pulled out a small thermos. 

He forced himself to sit up despite the searing shots of pain in his eye socket. Jyn poured him a small cup of tea and warned him to drink it slowly. As he sipped it, he ran his fingertips over the bruise that bloomed on his hip and ribs, keeping his eyes forward and merely feeling Jyn seethe next to him.

“How did the contact go?” she finally asked.

“Good.”

“Was anyone following you?”

“No.”

She inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly until it ruffled into another huff. He drained his cup and she silently filled it again, her jaw set and her eyes burning as she glared at him. He knew that if their places were switched, he would have run out there with a poncho despite her orders to stay put. However, during their last mission he had become upset with her because she decided to follow him as he approached a potential target when he told her to stay put in the hotel. In the end it worked out and Jyn learned where the target’s true hideout was, but he would never forget the way his heart plunged into his stomach when he opened their room and Jyn wasn’t inside.

“I know you could have helped, but I underestimated the storm,” he finally admitted.

Jyn sighed again, the emerald blaze in her eyes cooling to an ember.

“Probably didn’t help that you were hypothermic,” she said. “But you can explain that to Draven after you’re examined at the medbay.”

He huffed a laugh that triggered a dry, wracking cough that he doused with more tea. Jyn thumped on his back until he could breathe again. When she leaned over to pour him the last of the tea, he snuck a kiss on the crown of her head. Jyn looked up at him, fighting down a smile that reached her eyes.

“Thank you,” he murmured. 

Her shoulder relaxed against his, her toes curling around his ankle.

“Don’t forget to thank Kay, too. He’s the one who managed to cut your pants off,” she said.

“I liked those pants too,” he said dryly, making her laugh, and he began to hope she could forgive him for making her worry.

The tea had quenched his thirst, but he was still exhausted. Even his bruise along the side of his body was muted from exhaustion. Jyn straightened out the cocoon of blankets before wriggling down inside with him. It took a few moments of fidgeting to fit both of their heads on the single pillow, needing to interlock legs and Jyn hooking her arms around his chest while his were pillowed by her breasts. Cassian gazed at her until his eyelids were too heavy to stay open anymore, and he fell asleep to the rhythm of Jyn’s heart under his hands and the hum of the ship.   


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what was supposed to be a ficlet ballooned out of control. The rest of the chapters are written and edited, and will be released one chapter a night. Kudos/Comments much appreciated!

The rest of the journey back to Echo base was generally uneventful, save for the cold he could feel fermenting in his chest. He didn’t say anything to Jyn about it, of course, until he was examined at the medbay and his secret was revealed.

“At least it isn’t pneumonia,” Cassian said to a stony-face Jyn.

After receiving a direct order of seventy-two hours of rest and fluids, he reported to Draven and met Jyn back at his quarters.

“What did he say?” Jyn asked as she re-packed her bag on their bed, since she was assigned a new mission with the pathfinders to Kashyyyk the next day.

Leaning over his desk, Cassian massaged his brow with his thumb and middle finger. “Thanked me for my service, then reminded me to keep an umbrella handy.”

Jyn snorted. “Is he granting you sick leave?”

“He has to.”

“Yes, but is he going to?”

He swallowed several times before words could finally travel up his dry, sore throat. “After that stomach bug epidemic, everyone’s been following medbay orders a lot more thoroughly, so yes.”

Thin arms and bare hands ran over his parka, crossing over his chest. A gentle, warm weight fell against his back and head. Jyn’s kyber pendant pressed against the back of his neck. Cassian closed his eyes, committing to memory how she felt against him despite being separated by the layers of clothing keeping them warm.

“I’m sorry I have to leave when you’re sick,” she said, her voice small and ashamed.

He patted her hand. “I’ll be better by the time you come back, so that’s something to look forward to.”

She chuckled softly at that, then kissed down the part in his hair. All he could do was squeeze her bare hand with his. There was probably a good chance she had infected herself by being near him already, but he didn’t want increase the risk by kissing her. She needed to be healthy for her mission.

But the next morning, when the crud in his chest had migrated to his head that burned low grade fever, and his willpower crumbled. He kissed her goodbye as she tucked their blankets under his chin, and he was asleep again before she left their room.

He slept more in the next seventy-two hours than he probably ever had in his life, although he still got up to shower and eat in the cold mess hall. He went straight back to his quarters after each meal, then alternated between napping and reading reports Draven sent him. On the last day of his sick leave, he gave Kay's chassis a good clean and polish.

“All right, finished,” Cassian said as he dumped a towel over his grease-stained tools.

Kay looked down and admired himself. “I look like I was manufactured yesterday. You should go on sick leave more often, Cassian.”

Cassian laughed until it triggered a wrack of coughs, and stretched the ache in his back from hunching over the droid for so many hours. After a quick shower, he slipped back under the hodge podge of blankets he and Jyn collected and that came in handy on Hoth. He pulled up Jyn's favorite up to his face: a dark blue blanket with knots along its edges. A little of her scent still clung to the soft wool. She must have reached Kashyyyk by now, and maybe if he just peeked in her file--

“She arrived at her destination two hours and thirty minutes ago,” Kay said. “In case you wanted to know.”

Cassian raised an eyebrow at him. “Where did you get that information?”

“Same place you do.”

Cassian chuckled darkly, because he was damn sure K-2SO didn't have the same clearance as he did, but the gesture showed him how much the droid cared about Jyn.

He tightened his grip on the blue blanket. “She’ll be okay, Kay. She can take care of herself, no need to worry.”

“I never do.”

Cassian snorted a laugh, then turned on his side and slipped into sleep.

* * *

When he woke up the next morning, the world swung under him and he clung to the sides of his bed.

“Kay! Are we under attack? An earthquake?” he shouted.

Squeezing his eyes shut so he could focus, the world gradually stilled.

“Neither,” K-2SO answered from his charging station.

Chest still heaving and head feeling too light, Cassian slowly opened his eyes. The world didn’t move. He sighed and closed his eyes again. Feeling queasy, he massaged his stomach, sticky with night sweat.

“Nightmare?” Kay offered.

“I don’t know,” Cassian grunted. “I’m going to take a shower.”

He sat up slowly and, despite feeling a little wobbly, got up on his feet. The pressure in his head suddenly dipped and he found himself on the floor. The room rocked back and forth under him, and all he could do was grab onto Kay’s ankle to stop feeling like he was going to fall up onto the ceiling.

“Are you hurt?” Kay asked.

“I...I don’t think so,” Cassian wheezed, shutting his eyes again. He smarted from the fall, but nothing seemed broken.

“Can you stand?”

“No...ev...everything’s spinning.”

“I’m contacting medical support.”

“Wait--”

Cassian’s eyes flew open as he looked up at Kay as they spun in the vortex. Nausea roiled in his stomach and burned up his throat.

“Yes, this is K-2SO, reporting that Captain Cassian Andor is collapsed on the floor, appears to be suffering from vertigo, and has now vomited on my feet.”

After being carted on a hover-stretcher to the medbay, Cassian was given a new diagnosis: some sort of ear infection called labyrinthitis. With that came medicine to help with the nausea and a new mandatory sick leave of at least five weeks that would end with a hearing test to see if he suffered any permanent hearing loss. And to top it all off, his receding fever flared up with renewed vigor.

“Kay, what’s Jyn’s status?” Cassian groaned when he was back in his own bed, still needing a shower but lacking the energy or the balance to do so.

Kay’s occulars flickered for a moment. “Arrived at destination. The mission is going accordingly and she is expected to leave on time.”

“Good, good,” he sighed into his pillow. “Wait, not good. I’ll still be sick when she comes back.”

“Yes, that’s to be expected.”

He buried his whole face in his pillow now. She was never going to let him live this down. “The mission went well. We got what we needed and no one got hurt, but I get a little rain on me--”

“The cold weakened your immune system. The rain helped.”

Cassian laughed into his pillow until he had to turn his face for air. “Well, Kay, I’d appreciate your help for the next few weeks if you can find the time.”

Kay’s oculars flickered again. “I’ll see what I can do.”

Cassian chuckled again before drifting off to sleep.

* * *

In the field, Cassian wouldn’t trade K-2SO for any droid or organic in the galaxy. Bedside manner was another story entirely. After he napped for several hours, cool air nipped at his feet until he woke up. He kept his eyes closed and let his hands and feet explore the bed to confirm that half his blankets were gone. He reached over his bed and his fingertips brushed something soft.

“Kay?” he croaked, his throat still tender from vomiting that morning.

“What do you need?” Kay answered, the sound of his footsteps and hydraulic system growing louder as he approached the bed.

“Kay, could you pick up my blankets? I knocked them off when I was asleep.”

“Why would you do that?” Kay asked.

“I don’t know. I’m cold now, so if you could--”

Kay dumped the blankets on his face. Cassian flopped the knot of fabric on his stomach, but he couldn’t get it to reach his toes. He sat up to straighten the blankets, but then the room spun and tilted and his stomach gurgled. Clamping his lips together, his hands flailed for his sick bucket just as the droid pressed it against his chest, and he threw up half-digested water and crackers.

“Thanks,” Cassian mumbled, leaning his head into his arm and trying to will the dizziness away.

“Is this going to happen every time you’re not lying down?”

“Probably, if I get up too fast.”

“Then I would advise _not_ getting up so quickly.”

“Noted,” Cassian said as he handed the bucket back to Kay.

He slowly lowered himself on his pillow, still damp with sweat, and breathed deeply through his mouth to calm his churning stomach. He dozed in and out for several more hours, waking himself up whenever he turned his head and felt the bed rock. Out of frustration, he eventually asked Kay to help him to the ‘fresher and hold him up under the hot water for a couple of minutes. He wasn’t exactly _clean_ but it made him feel a little bit better, plus Kay straightened his blankets out before dumping them on him again, so that was an improvement.

But as the next week wore on, so did Cassian’s nerves. Between the perpetual motion sickness and spontaneous vomiting was the crippling boredom from being cooped up in his quarters for so long. He couldn’t read from his datapad or watch holovids without feeling sick. He could listen to the holovids for a little bit until his ear infection throbbed in revolt. So he laid in bed half-awake for hours and hours, boredom gnawing at his brain until he was distracted by his daily arguments with Kay about food.

It always started the same way. “I’ve brought you sustenance in the form of of 200 mL of water and a cup of rice porridge.”

Cassian always squeezed his eyes shut and swallowed down the bile in his throat. “Can’t.”

“It has been twelve hours since you last vomited, so it is recommended that you transition to solid foods in order to aid your recovery.”

“I’ll just throw it back up again.”

Kay stared down at him, and Cassian was pretty sure that it was not the first nor the last time he contemplated dumping the water and porridge on his stubborn friend’s head.

“You require hydration,” Kay said as he lowered the canteen toward his lips. “In small sips, to prevent nausea.”

Cassian grumbled to himself in no language in particular, but would take the canteen and drink in small, measured sips. Always the haze in his eyes would clear and the pressure in his head would ease somewhat, and then the canteen was taken away and Kay held out a warm bag of rice porridge to suck on.

“You require nutrients,” Kay insisted.

“You said it was recommended before.”

“It’s required now.”

Cassian rolled to his side so he could stare at the wall, but he still felt Kay’s oculars burn against his back.

Kay didn’t budge. “An attempt would be appreciated.”

Cassian huffed and whined, but he took the bag of rice porridge and turned on his back to eat the gluey, tasteless shit. Had it been anyone else he probably would have resisted much longer, but he ingested the entire bag sip by sip and handed it back to Kay to recycle.

“Has Jyn left Kashyyyk yet?” he whined as he rubbed his sore stomach.

Kay pulled out the datapad. “She’s scheduled to leave in four hours and thirty minutes.”

His heart leapt in his throat.  “She finished her mission? What’s her status?"

“No change in her physical status, but knowing her, there’s a 78% chance she acquired at least one superficial injury.”

Cassian didn’t have the energy to laugh. The rice porridge clung heavily in his stomach, weighing him back down to sleep. A few hours later, he woke up needing to pee and realized he got out of bed too quickly when he threw up on Kay’s feet again.The droid caught him mid-swerve, and the hard metal clanged against his ribs, nearly knocking the wind out of him. Without a word, Kay brought him from the toilet and then dumped him back on his empty, cold bed.

Jyn would be here soon, but not soon enough.


	3. Chapter 3

“What’s Jyn’s ETA?” Cassian asked when it was time for him to try solids again.

“Eat the applesauce and I’ll tell you.”

It was the same fight that they had over the last two days, and one that Cassian always lost. What K-2SO lacked in delicate bedside care he made up for in persistence. If Cassian refused to eat, then Kay refused to give the ETA, and no amount of begging would change his mind. Sometimes Kay would stand there for hours without moving an inch, something he would never do if he was ordered to. In a huff Cassian snatched the bag out of his hand, faced the wall, and sipped at the bag of applesauce. At least this stuff glided down his throat more easily than the rice porridge and had a bit more taste to it.

“She will arrive in two days, twenty-three hours, and forty-five minutes.”

His stomach swooped at hearing that she was now less than three days away from him. He always missed her when they were separated, but after over a week of being stuck in his quarters with only Kay, he was desperate to feel her warm fingers on his face again. His arms ached to wrap around her and feel her lean muscle under his hands. He bundled her favorite blue blanket and squeezed it tight, his nose buried deep in the fabric but unable to find her scent.

“You haven’t finished your food,” Kay said.

He shook his head and forced his breathing to go deeper, slower, so he could lull himself to sleep. The sooner he slept, the sooner Jyn would be here.

“You need to finish eating.”

The applesauce swirled in his stomach. “Not hungry.”

Cassian pushed the bag off the bed to make his point, then turned towards the wall. Kay was silent. After a long moment, he heard Kay creak as he bent down and stood back up again.

“You only ate a quarter of its contents,” Kay informed him. “When you wake up again, you’ll eat the rest of it.”

Afterwards, Kay only revealed Jyn's ETA after Cassian finished his food.

The fights  continued until forty-five minutes until Jyn was expected to land.  In a fit of determination, Cassian decided that he was going to meet Jyn at the hangar, but he needed to clean himself up first. He brushed off Kay's offer of help. He moved slowly, but so far his equilibrium was at its best since all of this mess started two weeks ago, and he walked into the 'fresher without any lopsided vision. The short walk had stirred his need to pee, however, so he approached the toilet first. He leaned on the counter and flipped the lid up with his knee.

The stench of bleach smacked him in the face, knocking him on his knees and his stomach groaned in agony as the inhaled smell set fire to that morning's toast and banana puree.  He puked up his breakfast, his dinner from the night before, and when every last crumb of food was out of his system, his stomach twisted itself until it squeezed out the last bit of clear, frothy stomach acid. When he was done he crumpled on the cold floor, feeling like everything in him had been scooped out.

He nearly cried when he heard Kay step in and his rigid fingers clamp on his arm. “You need to get back to bed.”

“No,” he gasped, trying to pull his arm back. “Let go! I’m sick of that bed.”

“Then sit on the toilet.”

“No, I’m going to lie on the floor.”

“You’ll increase your risk of--”

“Go nag someone else,” he spat, too frustrated and angry to look at Kay in the face anymore.

He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead on the cold tile, the only stable thing while everything spun around him. His chest heaved as his heart battered itself against his ribcage. Kay’s fingers tensed against the meat of his arm before letting go.

“Fine,” Kay said as he left.

The door to his quarters clicked open and shut. Cassian wrapped his arms over his head and squeezed against his ears to shut out the silence. After a few minutes, the intense spinning slowed to a gentle rock. His left ear rang until he flopped on his side to make it stop. The soothing cold spiked along his body, making him shiver. He stared at the corner of the fresher, where gray dirt speckled the snow-white tile, and hugged himself to keep warm.

His body shuddered when he heard the door open again. His mouth opened to apologize, but the footsteps were not heavy and creaky like Kay’s, but soft and light like--

“Jyn?” he asked, his voice cracking at the end.

She kneeled next to him, her thigh warm against his back.

“I thought you had a cold,” she said quietly as she place her cold hand on his flushed cheek.

He closed his eyes and felt completely still for the first time in recent memory. “It got worse. Caused an ear infection, but it’s the kind that makes the world spin and I throw up everytime I stand, Kay’s been taking care of me, and I have a few more weeks of this before it clears up.”

He opened his eyes and met her green ones, full of concern with none of the pity. His scorched throat went dry.

“Welcome home,” he said.

A ghost of a smile flickered across her face, and he would have kissed her to draw it out if he didn’t fear throwing up all over her.

“When was the last time you had a shower?” she asked.

He blinked and tried to remember, but the last week and a half was a blur. “I don’t know.”

“Well, I’ll help you take a shower, and then I’ll replace your linens with the fresh ones I nicked from the laundry.”

He sighed and stared at the corner again. “I’m tired.”

“It’ll make you feel better.”

“I’d rather just go to bed.”

“Well, I told Kay that I would take care of you and I can’t take care of you while you smell like tauntaun ass.”

He frowned and looked up at her again. “I do not--”

She pressed a dirt-streaked finger against his lips. “No arguing. I need a shower too after being cooped up with Wookiees during the wet season. The fact that you didn’t notice means that your sense of smell can’t be trusted.”

He sniffed through the congestion until he picked up a hint of the earthy, ripe scent of freshly dug up wild onions. Maybe she had a point. Not breaking eye contact with her, he gingerly sat up so she could pull off his yellowed night shirt and pants. She grimaced as she tossed them at the ’fresher threshold. Then she unzipped her vest and yanked off her own grimy shirt and pants while he sat there like a useless lump with his hands folded over his legs. Jyn pulled back the curtain and turned on the shower, which shot out water so cold that it looked like a waterfall of icicles. Gradually, the shower warmed enough for steam to billow to the top. Jyn returned to him and braced an arm around his shoulders.

“C’mon, then,” she beckoned.

He crawled with her until he was sitting cross-legged directly under the water, the stinging streams carving through the layers of built-up grease and sweat. Jyn attacked his hair first. She shampooed it once, but there were barely any bubbles. She shampooed it a second time and achieved mild suds.

“You’re wasting it,” he whined when she picked up the bottle again.

“You have plenty after skipping out for so long,” she shot back.

She took her time with the third one and built up a good lather as she massaged every inch of his scalp, from his forehead to the back of his ears. Once she thoroughly rinsed his hair, she put in the conditioner to set so she could focus on scrubbing his body with a scraggly washcloth. Her strokes along his back were firm, as if she was rubbing out the tension that had been coiling in his muscle for weeks.

Once she finished, she crawled around to face him. She sat cross-legged like he did, their knees pressed together as she gently scrubbed his chest. The hot shower had melted away most of the dirt off of her frame, but his eyes fell on the thin, pink scrape across her shoulder.

“A wookiee forgot to retract his claws when he greeted me,” she chuckled, bringing his gaze back up to her glittering eyes. “We disinfected it right away, but it still might scar. Embarrassing, right?”

Had he been well, he would have leaned forward and kissed her scar to start off the rest of their night. Instead, all he could offer was his thumb tracing the taut, translucent skin and his fingers curling around the warm, living flesh of her arm. He was always a little surprised when she came home to him, that she wanted to be with him after another fight against the Empire. Now he was shocked all over again that she wanted to stay despite finding him horribly sick, unshowered for over a week, and moping on the floor after yelling at the droid who had been taking care of him.

“No, not at all,” he said softly, hoping that the water masked his sudden tears.

She leaned her cheek on his thumb, a full smile dawning on her face. Her hands ran up the length of his arm and clasped his. She pressed her lips against his knuckles, then turned his hand and kissed his palm. His fingers flinched from her light touch, but he managed to hold still as she kissed up to his wrist.

“Are you hurt anywhere else?” he whispered.

“No.”

A bit of teeth scraped against his scoured skin and his breath caught in his throat. Her grip on his arm tightened, keeping him anchored despite feeling light enough to float away. She lifted her face and washed her kiss away as she rubbed up his arm.

“How was Kashyyyk?” he asked as she moved on to the other arm.

“Warm. Even the rain was warm, you would have loved it.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”

“Close your eyes.”

He obeyed and felt the rough fabric of the washcloth slough off the dead, flaking skin on the side of his nose.

“The rain fucked with the bucketheads who were patrolling on the outside, so it made infiltration a little easier. We got our target out, a good amount of intel, and wrecked the place. Didn’t get a scratch from them.”

“That’s good.”

The washcloth migrated up his forehead and around his eyes in slow, even circles.

“We got delayed because the wookiees wanted to throw a banquet to celebrate and it was…a lot. There was a lot of good food but I just wanted to get back here.”

He couldn’t help himself. “Not a lot people say that about Hoth.”

“I never knew you to fish for compliments,” Jyn said. “You can open your eyes now. Your legs too.”

He chuckled, but when he opened his eyes he could see that she was serious. She guided his legs to open around her, and she washed them with one hand while the other kept a sturdy grip on his arm to keep him from falling over. When she was finished, she helped him fold his legs back together and instructed him to bend his head so the conditioner would rinse out while she cleaned herself up. He thought they were done when she turned off the shower, but then she handed him his toothbrush, toothpaste, and a glass of water.

“I’m going to put on the fresh linens while you brush your teeth. Just spit in the drain.”

He winced the moment he started brushing at the layers of film that had piled up. He could actually taste the stink in the mouth, and he brushed until his teeth ached.

“Almost done!” Jyn called from the bedroom.

“Take your time,” he answered, the ’fresher tilting to the right.

Cassian crawled to the wall and pressed his face against the damp tile, his gums throbbing as he ran his tongue over his teeth to wick the bit of blood away. He didn’t feel nauseous, but the floor turned up higher and higher until he felt like he was upside down. Blood rushed to his head and pooled behind his eyes. He closed his eyes to relieve some of the pressure, but it leaked out and dripped over his cheek.

Exhausted. He was so _exhausted_ and all he had been doing for the last two weeks was sleep, and yet he was still so weak. His body actively fought against him every waking moment. The medics had told him that this would resolve eventually, but he couldn’t shake off the primal fear of it lasting permanently. He was brought right back to when he woke up in the medbay after Scarif, with the medics telling him that with hard work he would be back to physical fitness within a year, but in the midst of pain and painkillers he feared he wouldn’t be able to walk again.

Jyn cleared her throat as she padded back inside the ’fresher.

“Hey, I’m back.”

He opened his eyes and looked at her, a standard white towel wrapped over her torso and her shoulders bristling with goosebumps. Her eyes glistened with tears that stained her lids red, much like when she first snuck into his room for the first night after Scarif.

“Okay,” he whispered.

“Listen, I know it’s going to be hard but I need you to stand up so you can sit on the toilet and I can dry you, okay?”

“‘Kay,” he mumbled, tasting salt on his lips.

Clinging on to each other, they staggered back to the toilet without Cassian throwing up. The world started to settle down again as Jyn rubbed down his trembling limbs. She dressed him after that, pulling up his pants when she lifted him back on his feet again. His arm over her shoulder, Jyn helped him walk out of the ’fresher.

Cassian sighed as they passed Kay’s charger. “I was an ass to Kay.”

Jyn snorted a laugh. “That’s what I figured when he met me at the hangar.”

“What did he tell you?”

“‘He’s your problem now,’” she said, mimicking his accent almost perfectly.

Well, he's certainly deserved being called that.

“Do you know where he went?” he asked. 

“No. But he can’t stay away forever, can he?”

“He’s his own droid, so he can stay or go as he pleases,” he grumbled.

Jyn grunted as she lowered him down on the bed, “Well, he’s your friend, so he’ll come back.”

Cassian could only hope, but he kept that thought to himself as Jyn clambered over him and tucked herself between him and the wall. She pulled the blankets over him, which were much warmer with the new brown wool blanket on top.

“Kashyyyk?”

“A parting gift from the wookiees for a job well done.”

Cassian looped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. The ceiling above them swayed back and forth but Jyn buoyed him down to the bed with her. She nuzzled his throat, her finger tracing his collarbone. Her body slack against him, exhausted from having to care for him straight after a mission. He kissed the tip of her damp hair and dotted a line down her forehead when she tilted her head up and kissed his lips.

For a moment, he forgot his pain, his weariness, his guilt--and poured back into her all the care and love she gave him. He cupped her face with one hand while the other snuck under her shirt and spread over her hip as he kissed her slowly, inhaling deeply between each kiss.

“I missed you,” he breathed, the edges of his vision beginning to gray.

“Me too,” she whispered.

They laid tangled together, kissing each other until Cassian finally passed out.


	4. Chapter 4

Cassian woke up warm and cinched within the blankets, but something was missing. Blindly he reached out over the bed and his fingernails scraped against the wall, sending a chill up his arm.

“Jyn?” he muttered.

“She went to get you more medicine,” Kay answered flatly.

Cassian’s eyes popped open and the first thing he saw was the droid standing ramrod straight in his charging station.

“You’re back,” he said.

“Obviously.”

Slowly, Cassian pushed himself up to his elbows and let out a sigh of relief when the room didn’t spin. His head felt clearer than it had the last couple of weeks, like the first rays of sunlight before the end of a storm. He looked up at Kay and could feel the resentment radiating from his rigid frame. Cassian's relief soured into guilt.

“I’m sorry for how I’ve been treating you,” Cassian said, hand on his stomach as it started to ache. “I shouldn’t have lashed out at you. You don’t deserve it after all you’ve done to help me."

“No, I don’t.”

“Is there anything I can do to make it up to you? Anything at all.”

“No.”

“If you think of anything, tell me?”

Cassian squeezed his hand over his belly just as his guilt stabbed him again, but there was no taking back what he had done or said.  He hoped that Kay would still want to stay, but if he didn't...

“I’ll think about it during my leave,” Kay said.

The hair on the back of his neck prickled. “Your leave?”

At last, K-2SO looked down at Cassian, his bright white oculars glaring at him. “Since Jyn is here, she will be taking care of you for the rest of your illness. I will be inspecting and breaking down cargo.”

“Oh,” he said, his throat growing tight.

“Is that a problem?”

“No, no problem at all,” he said as he sank back under the covers.

The stiff silence remained until Jyn return with her knapsack of supplies. Without a word, Kay dislodged from his charger and left the room. Jyn plopped the medicine on the desk.

“Still upset?” Jyn asked as she pulled out the medicine and bags of apple sauce and rice porridge.

“Yes. Can’t blame him. I fought with him about food, and I threw up on his feet--twice.”

“Eugh, you’re not going to do that to me are, you?” she warned as she handed him the little gel pill and a canteen.

“No.”

He washed the medicine down with the ice-cold water from the canteen, and it numbed the guilt in his stomach. He couldn’t take back what he had done, but the next couple of weeks would give him time to figure out how to pay Kay back.

“I missed you when I woke up and you weren’t here.”

“You do realize it’s lunch time, right?” she laughed, then tossed him a meal bag from his desk. “Now eat your applesauce.”

He did as he was asked, but he savored the realization that he was finally feeling solid and whole, not spinning weightlessly in space. He watched Jyn pull out the rest of his meal bags and organized them. She picked up the rice porridge, opened it, and grimaced when she sniffed it. He gulped down the rest of his applesauce, his hands itching to hold hers again.

“I’ve finished. Come back to bed?” he asked, arm outstretched with the empty meal bag.

She cast a sidelong glance at him as she approached him. In a flash she whipped the bag away and stepped back before he could catch her.

“These meds have made you clingy,” she laughed as she tossed the bag in the small trash can, near overflowing with crusty old tissues.

“Not in the least. In fact, I’m the opposite of clingy.”

“Oh really?”

Feeling confident, he sat up, tossed his legs over the side of the bed, and hopped off the bed. “I can--”

He shut his jaw as he fell back on the bed, his vision warbling from side to side. Jyn shoved the trash can in his arms just as the swirling apple sauce surged up his throat. He only vomited a mouthful, but his stomach muscles cramped and ached and he broke into a cold sweat. Jyn joined him, her hand rubbing up and down his back.

“I lied, I need you,” he admitted taking a sip of water and spitting it back out.

She took trash can out of his hands and grimaced. “Okay, but I need to throw this out first, or I’m going to start puking.”

She kissed his temple before leaving him, but he didn’t want to mope in his bed anymore. Gingerly, he got back up on his feet again and used the wall to guide him to the ’fresher. The floor still tilted but he managed to brush his teeth without falling, and fell back into bed by the time Jyn returned. She crawled over him again so she would get the wall and he would get easy access to the toilet. The bed was barely big enough for one person, never mind two, but they made it work. Cassian laid on his back and Jyn fit in the sliver of space between him and the wall, her limbs draped over him. She stroked his stomach when it gurgled like an angry Rodian.

"This'll be over soon. It has to," she said, her cheek squished against his overgrown beard.

"That's what I've been telling myself."

She gently squeezed around his ribs. "Do you want me to read you something?"

Reading something meant she'd have to get out of bed to grab the data pad, and the way they fit together was perfect. It was so good having her home again.

"Maybe later."

* * *

The next two weeks passed both breathlessly fast and unbearably slow for Cassian. The first few days involved a lot of cuddling with Jyn and listening to her read aloud in her gentle lilt, pausing whenever his ears started to ring. By the end of the third week of his illness he experienced longer periods of equilibrium, so he could watch holodramas with Jyn or play games with Bodhi, Baze, Chirrut, or Melshi when they came to visit.

In the middle of the fourth week, he actually woke up before Jyn or K-2SO, and Kay woke up fairly early. Usually Cassian was asleep when Kay left and came back from his shift. Now that he was awake for longer, he'd see Kay come in and go to his recharging station, always responding to Cassian's greeting with a curt "good night." Now that he woke up before Kay did, he decided to do something with his extra time. Quietly, he slinked out of bed and put on his fatigues, then brought the cleaning kit out from under his bed. He sat at his desk and sipped water until Kay hummed to life.

Cassian stood up and silently held out the cleaning cloth and fluid. Kay swung his head at the bed, where Jyn laid in a deep sleep, then back at Cassian. His oculars twisted in thought.

“Sit down,” Kay said, his voice nearly muted.

Cassian sat, and Kay stood in front of him so he could clean his leg first. Cassian did a broad sweep of the leg first, removing the superficial dirt and grime, then he pulled out his needle-thin tools to unscrew sections of chassis and pick at the gummy pieces of grease that clotted on the wires. From the way his joints creaked, he probably needed new oil too. He had some in his tool kit, but there was more that was better for cold weather in the droid bay.

Kay placed a hand on his head, and Cassian stopped. He looked up at the droid, and the droid’s ocular lights were still bright, but not blinding.

“I want a knapsack like Jyn’s.”

Cassian blinked. “Okay. I’ll go to the quartermaster today and order one for you.”

“Good,” he said.

Kay continued to watch Cassian work with his hand in his hair, and Cassian didn’t mind it at all. It was a comforting weight to carry.

“Thank you,” Cassian murmured as he began on the second leg. “For taking care of me, and for coming back.”

“Of course I came back. Temper tantrums are temporary, but friendship is forever.”

Cassian tilted his head up, biting back a smile. “Where did you hear that?”

“Bodhi. He was quite worried over a situation that had nothing to do with him, and he wouldn’t stop talking to me about it until I returned here. He will be relieved to learn that I’ve forgiven you.”

“I’m relieved too,” he chuckled, the guilt in his stomach dissolving away. “Where do--”

Jyn’s irritated huff interrupted them. “Shut up, it's early.”

Cassian pursed his lips and Kay muted himself. Cassian continued to clean Kay until he had to report back to cargo, then washed his hands and re-joined Jyn on the bed. He’d take a quick nap with her before heading over to the quartermaster and ordering Kay’s reward, but his mind wandered back to the jewelry store on the planet that started this whole ordeal, and he wondered if the silver chain was still there...

When Cassian was officially marked as fit to return to duty (with minimal hearing loss), Jyn celebrated by burning sage in their room. She didn’t tell him beforehand, so it was a surprise to smell smoke as he approached his quarters and then open his door to see Jyn waving a smoldering bunch of white sage in the air.

“What are you doing?” He coughed and pulled his shirt over his nose.

“Cleansing the room. Chirrut gave it to me, and he said that it would cleanse the place of any bad spirits that are trying to do you harm.”

“The ear infection wasn’t bad enough?”

“They could have done worse,” she said as she put the sage on a small plate on their desk.

He cupped her face and gently turned it towards him. Her kyber crystal hung over her shirt, the cord a little frayed at the edge but still holding strong. He didn’t know if she liked silver, or if she even want to replace her cord. The only way to find out would be to take her to the jewellery store herself the next time they were assigned to meet his contact. But did he have to wait that long? There were plenty of creative people in the Rebellion, and they had been cooped up in his quarters for too long.

He kissed her forehead. “Want to take a walk with me?”


End file.
